Hey. I wish I could think of interesting things to write here, instead of just boring everyone with long journally entries. The musical is okay, except we can't sing loud enough when we're dancing. Maybe, if you read this, you should tell me what your favorite color is and also, what your favorite disney movie is. so now i am going to go read. Crime and Punishment. I am past the crime part (whew!), so on to the punishment. It's pretty interesting. I look forward to class discussions, with the amazing Sean Brandt. And I hope I can finish Don't Waste Your Life pretty soon (it's a John Piper), before i waste all of my life. Pretty splendid. you should definitely read it. okay. that is all.

Happy January 15!

January 1, 2006. It's the first day of a new year. How exciting! God is so wonderful. So my sister Erin and I just got back a couple hours ago from a semi-cross country road trip. We went to a wedding in North Carolina on a whim. The wedding was Friday and we decided that if we left as soon as we could then we could still make it to the wedding that we (me especially) had wanted to go to. We got to see all our Ridge Haven friends (which are more Erin's than mine, because she has actually been a counselor with them. I've just been a camper and sister of their friend, but it is still cool). Oh, Ridge Haven is a camp in Brevard, NC that is our same denomination (Presbyterian Church in America). I am almost positive that that is where my summer is to be spent. My turn has come:) It was very encouraging. The wedding. Ahhhh... someday, my prince will come.

So on our way back, Erin and I started reading Galations and we have read almost all the way through Colossians. And it's good stuff! Sometimes I forget or just take for granted (woe, never typed that word before and I'm not really sure if that's how it should be. anyways) how encouraging and exciting God's word is, like when you just read a couple chapters at a time, just to "keep on schedule" or something. It's really good to spend a few hours soaked in it.

So I was trying to think of some New Years Resolutions in the car and I couldn't think of anything different from my ones from past years that I didn't do. So I think I'm just going to have one (and I'm sure it can't fail) and it is this:

          1. Grow in my relationship with Jesus.

He will grow me closer to Himself. He is constantly pursuing me. What a great truth!

I was also thinking that maybe I would write a list of all the things I am looking forward to and all the things I think will be difficult. So maybe I will start with the later of the two.

Probable Difficulties that I don't really fear because I know God is faithful and it is He who will help me through them:

1. Ethics with Sean Brandt      

2. Being a camp counselor at Ridge Haven     

3. Not being married      

4.  Being around males whom I think I could marry (that one is not definite, though still quite possible)      

5. Waking up earlier than I would like. (I know, that's usually every day, but sometimes this year it will actually be early acording to the rest of the worlds standards.)

So I don't really like that list. I pretty much feel like a whiney baby right now. But I wrote it so you could know up front what I just might be struggling with this semester and year. So you can pray for me if your into that sort of thing:)

Now for the fun list of things I am looking forward to, patiently(:

1. Ethics with Sean Brandt

2. Being a camp counselor at Ridge Haven

3. yeah right.

    just kidding, but let me reword it.   God growing me in my singleness.

4. Okay I'm tired of this game. So they are gonna be originals now.  Actually, I think I will finish this later. I should get out of the habit of writing hour long blogs. So I'm gonna save this one. I mean the rest of this one.

So God is good and I'm anticipating a lot of good hard this year. So that's all.

I love God and you,

Lauren

Happy New Year!

Hey. It's almost been a month. I've probably lost any "readers of my site" that I might have had at one point or another. But, oh well. This is pretty much for me more than anything. You know, therapy or something. I guess I should just keep a normal journal. Maybe someday. So Christmas was grand. Jesus is better than any words could describe. I am very thankful for my wonderful family and the time that I've been able to spend with them. My grandma had knee replacement surgery this morning. We went to visit her this afternoon and she is doing quite well. I got to have lunch with my sisters and my Aunt Marcia and cousin Brady from FL at NuWay today. It was yummy. And I almost bought a digital camera. But Target was out. But the guy told me that they will probably go on sale in Jan. I said, "I can wait." [sidenote: sometimes I shake my head and silently chuckle and my weirdness/randomness. just thought you should know.] I finally ordered my reformation study bible online yesterday! YIPEEEE! I am soooo excited. Now I can actually understand everything that I'm reading!

Do you ever get waves of weird emotions and you have no clue where exactly they are coming from? Or you know where but you just weren't expecting them to pop out right when they do.. well, tonight at Il Vicino (the best pizza joint in town, located on Douglas and Oliver) with my father and Erin, I was feeling... what's the word... numb. as in numb to feeling things about the opposite sex. i kinda felt like i was probably doomed to wander the planet, alone, for the rest of my life. i think that was right after i noticed this naturally good looking young man sit down right in my area of view(?) who I could have had a family with. and then noticed his fiance (probably) come in like 5 minutes later. how crushing. and i thought i had found the one for me..

Okay, that is an exaggeration. obviously. but still, it was a good example of how there are quite a few males that I could be interested in.. one or two more so than others, but i still can't see myself marrying any of them. i mean i can but i just kinda don't know. Erin and I were talking later (she had noticed the guy too and i sadly informed her that he was probably engaged. (i even did a ring check, on him before She showed up.)) and we think that we have very, very high expectations of the men we will marry someday. They may even be unrealistic. But how can one know for sure? i mean really, you don't want to settle for anything less than God's best for you, but you do want something. and no one is perfect, only perfect for you. i think part of it is because we are products of a broken marriage. I think I have a deep fear of commitment. I really, really love the idea of a Godly marriage, but i don't really know how it's supposed to work. I know it's not all rainbows and princesses and chocolate (bad .. is that an analogy?. I am so stupid). But marriage is a huge deal and you don't want to jump into it with just anyone. not that anyone is even asking me right now. Probably (hopefully) when someone does ask I won't be afraid to commit at all! But I just wanted to let you know how I feel right now, on the matter that is on my mind all too often.

I guess I should stop at this because you've probably lost interest by now. but if you have read this far and you have any wonderful words of wisdom and/or encouragement, well, I've probably already heard it, so don't bother. just kidding. i'm game if your game. it won't hurt to hear it again. and maybe i'll get lucky and it will be something new and extra enlightening.

but just two more things. Don't worry, I know that God is in control and I definitely do trust him, even though I don't always want to. And, I probably might not be feeling this way in a couple days, or atleast i will be trying to forget about it or to cover up these wacky emotions. So don't even worry about me desparing or anything. Besides, even if I am destined to wander the planet alone for the rest of my life, I won't be alone cause I have Jesus. And he loves me way more completely and perfectly than any other person could. That's enough to give a person everlasting fullness of joy!

ps. Merry (late) Christmas!